Life Is A Shitty Pizza

…or at least, life is a shitty pizza when you can’t control your drinking. When you stop drinking – life is a really awesome pizza.

I’m evidently not the best at coming up with analogies. Allow me to explain…

When you are a problem drinker, your life will always have a proportion of chaos. This chaos manifests itself as blackouts, missed appointments, problems at work, bad decisions, unnecessary arguments, bad relationships, and money worries. In a world of chaos you’re probably going to make a pretty shitty pizza. Your base will be a stupid shape, you’ll forget ingredients (you idiot), and you’ll probably get the passata all down your trousers. You’ll settle for bad quality toppings, like beans and processed ham from a packet. All of these small parts, pulled together in chaos, will finally produce a totally shitty pizza. Continue reading

A Sober Xmas

This year will be my second Xmas since I kicked the booze – and I seem to remember last year wasn’t entirely without struggle. I didn’t cave in and drink, but I had a few near-misses due to being at a family wedding between Xmas and New Year. I was still relatively fresh off the beertrain (toot toot), and my brother was getting married on a huge old posh estate in North Yorkshire. This was an awesome event not only because I got to witness my bro marrying the love of his life – but also because it was my first time seeing my family since I moved down south(ish) a few months prior. Also, there were family members and friends there that I’d not seen in YEARS. It was time for celebrating, partying, and catching-up with old acquaintances. This kind of socialising comes naturally to me after a few beers – but there I was talking to loud, brash, confident uncles – trying to stutter my way through the reasons that I only wanted a diet coke, please. Continue reading