SoberPunks Interview: Scott Middleton from CANCER BATS

Man, I fucking love Cancer Bats; a mental hardcore punk band, full of spunk and spitting, that are proud to call Toronto their home – albeit probably a fleeting home given the amount of time these stalwarts spend on tour.

Their tunes are fast, their riffs are crushing, and their gigs are amongst some of the craziest I’ve ever witnessed (and I’ve seen Meatloaf and Billy Joel live – so I know what I’m talking about!).

But you know what’s cooler than a big, loud, fun punk band? A big, loud, fun punk band that doesn’t need BOOZE to get pepped up and start windmilling (hair, not penises, you perv), and Cancer Bats have not one but TWO members that DON’T NEED NO FUCKEN BEER TO HAVE A GUD TIME: Frontman Liam Cormier, and guitarist Scott Middleton.

I was lucky enough to catch up with badass shredder Scott, and ask him a few questions about his decision to live a life sans the devils jizz…

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Sober Festivalling: Surviving The Messy Twats In Bucket Hats

Man! It’s been a LONG time since I’ve found a spare minute to do some writing. Let me tell you a bit about what I’ve been up to:

  • Trying to buy a house. Been trying since Xmas. Still trying. Fuck estate agents, and absolutely FUCK solicitors. All of them. In their buttholes. Forever and ever. Amen.
  • Working. Always. On projects at work, and projects at home. Until eventually I will die and then (maybe) I can stop working.
  • Running and climbing. I’ve climbed 2 or 3 times per week since I first discovered it about 4 years ago, and I’ll probably always climb because I fucking love that shit, but RUNNING I totally fell out with last year after doing a few half marathons and then getting dismayed with the amount of training needed to increase my fitness – so I quit, got fat, got upset about being fat, and now I’m BACK baby. And actually, I’ve really missed it – not just the fitness aspect, but also it’s nice to get 30 minutes alone with your thoughts whilst you pound the pavements. I use this time to ponder the important questions in life, like WHY DID I CALL MY TEACHER ‘MUM’ THAT TIME WHEN I WAS TWELVE AND THE WHOLE CLASS HEARD ME GAHHHH.
  • Eating. Hence the return to running.
  • Telly. Watching and re-watching the holy quaternity of comedy programmes:
  • Gigs. Not got to as many gigs as I usually do, but HOLY GLITTERY SHITBALLS we saw Rammstein at our local arena a few months back and the German bastards blew my cock and balls RIGHT OFF and also singed my pubes too with their massive flamethrowers. There’s just a burned, bloody stump there now.
  • Weddings. It’s been awesome to see a couple of old mates get hitched, and I managed to survive both weddings completely sober. BOOM.
  • Waiting. For the British ice hockey season to start again. I am so excite. So, so excite.

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